Trading Spaces
by jade
Summary: Nothing to do with the TV show! Tsukushi and Doumyouji wake up one average morning to find out that life has suddenly become a little less then average.


Okay, this is a whim. A flight of fancy I came up with while washing my hair in the shower. (I tell you, ideas come at the weirdest times and then you get shampoo in your eyes because you temporarily forget what your doing.) So this is completely made to tickle your funny bone. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Hana Yori Dango or the title of this fanfic, which is also the title of a TV show. 

Warning: Um…you might want to go the bathroom before you read this…

Trading Spaces

            Tsukushi opened her eyes groggily. She didn't really want to go to school that day but her alarm clock had just gone off. It was funny though, her alarm clock sounded different. She reached up and turned it off, having to search for the right button. Then it dawned on Tsukushi.

            This wasn't her room. In fact it was a very large expensive looking room. This could only mean one thing in her mind. Doumyouji was up to something. She had definitely fallen asleep at her place so there was no reason why she should wake up in a strange bed. She was really going to let him have it. She stumbled out of bed and noted that she must have grown because she felt taller. It was probably her imagination however. 

            Tsukushi marched out of the room right into a maid.

            "Master Doumyouji!" The maid exclaimed. Tsukushi pursed her lips. Obviously Doumyouji had given his servants orders and she was about to get a lecture or something.

            "I don't care what he said! Now where is Doumyouji?" Tsukushi demanded.

            "Um," The maid looked rather bewildered. "What do you mean?"

            "Doumyouji, where is he?" Tsukushi asked again slowly. Doumyouji would do well to higher some maids who didn't have an I.Q. of five. Not that Doumyouji's was much higher in her mind. 

            "Sir…" The maid trailed off. "Come with me." Tsukushi smiled a little. Finally the maid had caught on. She followed the maid through a door. They were standing in a bathroom. 

            "Where is he?" Tsukushi blinked looking around. The maid pointed towards the bathroom mirror. Tsukushi looked up and her eyes widened. Doumyouji was right behind her but wait! There were only two people reflected in the mirror. Reality came crashing down on Tsukushi. 

            "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

___________

            Doumyouji smiled with his eyes closed. The alarm clock had just gone off but he had a wonderful dream before that. Of course he was slightly pissed at the stupid thing for going off and didn't restrain himself from throwing it across the room. He heard it shatter and thought groggily he'd have to buy a new one. His bed seemed smaller for some odd reason. He opened his eyes all the way. 

            Doumyouji sat straight up in the small room looking around rather confused. Then he grinned. Tsukushi was very daring when she wanted to be obviously. Somehow she had gotten him to her place in the dead of the night. That was okay with him, she probably was going to make him breakfast and they would skip school…

            He settled right back under his covers feeling pretty pleased with himself. Tsukushi couldn't resist him for long, could she? After all he was Doumyouji Tsukasa and that made him a god in most people's eyes. Including his own. Doumyouji stretched, his hand bumping against his chest and he froze.

            Looking down at his chest he realized something that he hadn't noticed before. He had breasts. Doumyouji must have jumped five feet in the air in surprise. He ran out of the room, realizing for the first time he had been wearing a nightgown. This was incredibly strange. He found a mirror in a very small bathroom. His jaw dropped. 

            "NANI???" 

____________

            Tsukushi decided she was having a nightmare. A bad nightmare. However no one else seemed to realize it. She took a shower trying very hard not to accidentally look down at her body. It was bad enough that she _was_ Doumyouji; she didn't want to know what he looked like when he was naked.

            Trying to push random thoughts like that from her mind. She rubbed the shampoo into her hair even though it was so short. Tsukushi felt that even though she was going to kill Doumyouji, she could at least wash his hair. She stepped out of the shower at last; several maids would be waiting for her outside. Tsukushi grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her whole body, like she would have done at home. Then she realized that Doumyouji was a boy and wrapped it around her waist. It felt weird not to have her chest covered but she went with it. She looked into the mirror.

            "This is so weird." Tsukushi realized it was Doumyouji's voice for the first time and felt even weirder. 

            She stepped out and was immediately groomed and dressed. Normally she would have pushed them away but she was not sure she wanted to call too much attention to herself. Tsukushi wanted to get to school and see what was going on. She started to wonder about things now. If she was in Doumyouji's body, who was in hers? Not to mention where was Doumyouji? Hopefully things would get all sorted out at Eitoko. Otherwise, she might be forced to kill someone. This was so embarrassing. 

________

            Doumyouji smiled as he looked into the reflection in the mirror. He had just taken a shower and during which had a nosebleed when it suddenly occurred to him that this was what Tsukushi looked like completely naked. He now a towel wrapped around his body which he wasn't use to. Oh well. 

            He really couldn't help himself. Tsukushi was beautiful. He could make her face do anything he wanted. He stuck his tongue out. Doumyouji laughed a little and discovered that it was Tsukushi's laugh. Perfect. That meant he had Tsukushi's voice.

            "I love you Doumyouji." He said to his reflection and found that the sound was perfect. Doumyouji loved this new game. "I think you're sexy."

            It occurred to Doumyouji that he couldn't stay here all day; he had to get dressed and then go to school. He needed to find Tsukushi, wherever the hell she was. He also needed to know who was in his body! As much as he liked being in this one, he really wanted to be his old self. 

            Doumyouji had some trouble getting a bra on and realized just had smart Tsukushi had to be. Then he put on her school uniform. Today, he wouldn't be able to just skip classes, but he could try. He had seen Tsukushi do it before. He grabbed his briefcase before heading right out the door.

___________________

            Tsukushi stepped out of the limousine. Doumyouji really overdid himself sometimes. She walked onto the school grounds feeling about as strange as one will ever feel. How did she find the F4? That would look most normal in her opinion, Doumyouji handing out with the F4. 

            "Doumyouji!" Akira's voice exclaimed. Tsukushi turned around to see all three other members of the F4. 

            "Um, hey!" Tsukushi tried to act natural. _Yes, because naturally one ends up in someone else's body! IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY!_

            "So what happened to you last night? You just went home!" Soujirou asked him, hitting him on the back.

            "Well…" Tsukushi trailed off. _What the hell are they talking about?_ "I was really tired."

            "Yeah sure! You know Doumyouji, we try to surprise him by taking him to a strip club and he goes home because of his 'wonderful Tsukushi.'" Akira snorted and Tsukushi was just about defend herself when she realized that Akira had just said 'strip club.' _THEY TRIED TO TAKE HIM TO A WHAT???_

            "Did someone say my name?" Tsukushi's eyes nearly popped out of her head when she heard that voice. It was her voice! Tsukushi turned around to see herself, wearing her school uniform, and standing there much like she would. Tsukushi realized how much she missed being herself.

            "T-Tsukushi." Tsukushi stuttered slightly. "Who…?" She trailed off in question not sure what to ask herself in front of the F4. Suddenly Tsukushi body wrapped around Doumyouji's in a tight hug.

            "Doumyouji!" The voice was incredibly bouncy. Tsukushi was going to kill someone but she didn't want to harm her own body. She felt the person lean up a little. "Who are you?" The voice whispered in her ear. 

            "What are you doing in my body?" Tsukushi whispered back. Tsukushi's body backed up just a little to look into her eyes. 

            "What are you doing in _mine_?" The slightly superior expression that flickered across her face made Tsukushi gasp. _DOUMYOUJI???_

            "Doumyouji?" Tsukushi asked the person in her body. The person nodded _her_ head. 

            "Tsukushi?" The now newly found out Doumyouji asked. Tsukushi nodded. The other three were looking at them as if they were crazy.

            "What did you guys do last night?" Soujirou asked them with raised eyebrows. 

            "Oh well…" Doumyouji blushed and Tsukushi wanted to smack him for even suggesting that they did anything. 

            "I told you guys I went home because I was tired. You know when you tried to surprise me with a _strip club_?" Tsukushi shot Doumyouji a slightly dirty look. His face reddened slightly.

            "I didn't do anything!" Doumyouji protested immediately. "I went right home!" Tsukushi smacked herself on the forehead.

            "Is Tsukushi losing it?" Akira asked. 

            "She's just being funny." Rui supplied. Tsukushi beamed at the introverted boy. Doumyouji's eyebrow twitched slightly.

            "No, I just hate being around Hanazawa." Doumyouji explained. "He's stupid." Rui gave Doumyouji a strange look.

            "Then again…" Rui trailed off. 

            "Not half as dumb as Tsukushi." Tsukushi shot right back. 

            "Doumyouji don't be that way!" Doumyouji leapt into Tsukushi's arms. Tsukushi scrunched her face up. She was so going to kill Doumyouji. 

            "Wow, I've never seen Tsukushi so enthusiastic." Akira observed. "It's about time she just gave up and jumped him." Tsukushi wanted badly to punch Doumyouji but she knew how that would look and she didn't want anyone to figure them out. Doumyouji did a terrible impression of her. 

            The bell rang. "Oh gee Tsukushi, you should go to class." Tsukushi smiled innocently. Doumyouji's face dropped. 

            "TSUKUSHI!" A slightly nasal voice yelled out. Doumyouji winced visibly. 

            "That guy is such a loser." Soujirou remarked. Kazuya came bounding up to them. Tsukushi took her arms away from Doumyouji. 

            "I think Kazuya is the coolest guy I know. In fact, I wish I were Kazuya. He's my hero." Tsukushi said outloud. Kazuya gasped and his eyes lit up.

            "Do you mean that Doumyouji?" Kazuya asked excitedly.

            "Of course!" Tsukushi punched him in a friendly way in the shoulder. "We have to get together and hang out." Doumyouji looked like he wanted to hurt someone.

            "Okay so Doumyouji in addition has also gone completely crazy." Akira stated. 

            "Come on Tsukushi, we need to get to class!" Kazuya grabbed Doumyouji's wrist and began to pull him away. "Bye Doumyouji!"

__________

            _I'm so glad I don't have to actually go to school. This is dumb._ Doumyouji sighed as the teacher droned on and on. He was going to punch someone. Hopefully Kazuya. That stupid nasally voice was getting to him. Tsukushi must have a ton of tolerance. 

            "Well look who it is. Poor stupid Tsukushi." Asai's equally annoying voice said causing him to look up. 

            "Why do you hate me so much?" Doumyouji asked. "Is it because Doumyouji thinks your all a bunch of annoying whores?" There was truth to that. A lot of truth. 

            "How dare you!" One Asai's friends shrieked. 

            "Or maybe it's because Doumyouji wants to marry me." Truth in that statement also. 

            "Come on." Asai huffed off followed by her flunkies. Doumyouji leaned back in his seat satisfied. Then he realized that he was wearing a skirt and should not be sitting like a boy. He cross his legs even though it was a tad bit uncomfortable when you weren't use to sitting that way. The lunch bell finally rang and he resolved not to even come back to class. It was pointless anyway. 

            He rushed out to where he knew the F4 would all be sitting. They were eating lunches and laughing. 

            "Hiya!" Doumyouji decided that upbeat and cheery Tsukushi was the best way to go. Tsukushi glared at him.

            "So how has you've been Doumyouji?" Akira asked. Doumyouji almost answered but luckily Tsukushi did first.

            "Oh fine. Especially since _apparently _I'm getting married." Tsukushi commented sending a look towards Doumyouji. 

            "Huh?" Akira cocked his head to one side. 

            "Nothing." Tsukushi said sweetly. Doumyouji didn't realize that Asai got that word around so fast. Doumyouji decided that he knew how to gain favor with Tsukushi. He snuggled up against Tsukushi's arm.

            "Doumyouji, can we go to my house after school?" Doumyouji batted his eyelashes. 

            "Doumyouji, I'm going to…" Tsukushi stopped her reply when she realized what she was saying. 

            "Way to go!" Soujirou hit him on the back in a congratulatory manner. 

            "I don't know…I have to show off all my money." Tsukushi finally came back with.

            Doumyouji could already tell what she was doing. "Yeah well I have to go out and work so I can afford some bread." He knew he shouldn't sink to her level but he could feel his frustration getting the better of him.

            "Well I have to go out and do something absolutely ridiculous just for you." Tsukushi shot back.

            "Well I have to go fall in love with some marbly-eyed guy so you know, I could be busy." Doumyouji remarked. Tsukushi's face scrunched up in irritation. Maybe he had gone too far. She looked pissed. 

            "Well I have to go out on a rampage and then blame it on you." Tsukushi yelled back.

            "Well you know what?" Doumyouji was really angry now. 

            "What?" Tsukushi fired back.

            "I have to do this!" Doumyouji grabbed Tsukushi and kissed her. Tsukushi pushed him away. Tsukushi looked really angry. She could do anything. Students all around them were watching with confusion. 

            "Oh yeah?" Tsukushi countered. She grabbed Rui and kissed him right on the lips. Doumyouji felt like he was going to vomit. That was _his _body! 

            "Omigod, I didn't realize Doumyouji was like _that_!" One student gasped to another.

            "Well I always suspected _that_! I mean, four boys always hanging out together? It is a tad bit odd." Another student replied. Doumyouji felt his blood boiling. Rui had the strangest look on his face that has ever graced a man's face in all history.

            "Need…to…find…S-Shizuka…" Rui jumped up and ran off as fast as he possibly could. 

            "Um, Doumyouji? We're just friends right?" Akira asked nervously. Doumyouji stood up in rage.

            "Don't be stupid!" Doumyouji insisted before turning on Tsukushi. "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?" 

            "HOW COULD YOU SAY THOSE THINGS?" Tsukushi roared back. 

            "Oh my, I hope I do not interrupt but you two should come to my office." Urara's voice interrupted them. They turned to see the strange woman looking at them. 

            "Um…okay…" Tsukushi face went all red just then. Doumyouji reluctantly agreed and they followed the woman to her office.

            "So," Once they settled down Urara began. "You've switched bodies."

            "How did you know?" Tsukushi asked.

            "Well, I've been observing you two." Urara answered simply.

            "Do you know how to bring us back to our old selves?" Doumyouji questioned excitedly. Urara would be the one to know something like this.

            "No." Urara shook her head. 

            "Why did we switch in the first place?" Tsukushi inquired.

            "I believe it's because your thoughts are always on the other. Eventually it pulled your mind away to them. Of course that's just a guess. Love is a strong bond between two people." Urara explained.

            "Hmm, well that sounds right." Doumyouji nodded his head in agreement.

            "What about me?" Tsukushi asked cocking her head to one side in confusion. "I never said-"

            "Your heart feels it even if your mind doesn't realize it. I suppose there might be a way to bring you back to original bodies." Urara pondered outloud. The other two leaned in excitedly.

            "Well?" Doumyouji prompted slightly impatient.

            "If you two were to become one with each other…" Urara trailed off thoughtfully. Both their faces reddened.

            "You don't mean…_that_?!" Tsukushi looked like her eyes might just pop out of their sockets.

            "The flowers have a way…" Doumyouji stopped listening to Urara as soon as the word flowers popped out of her mouth. Sometimes he thought that lady was crazy. However, her interesting proposed cure did hold interest to him.

            "Tsukushi?" Doumyouji thought his voice sounded very hopeful. Tsukushi would not be able to resist herself!

            "No! Absolutely not!" Tsukushi folded her arms stubbornly. 

            "But-" Doumyouji was cut off by Tsukushi.

            "Forget it!" Tsukushi got off her chair and walked out the door.

            "It wouldn't take that long!" Doumyouji went after her calling out. "We just need to find somewhere private!"

            "I won't do it Doumyouji!" Tsukushi yelled over her shoulder. Doumyouji tried to speed up but ended up tripping and falling on the cement ground outside. 

            "Ow!" Doumyouji realized how sensitive Tsukushi's body was that the fall would hurt like that. Tsukushi turned around.

            "Are you okay? Don't hurt me!" Tsukushi rushed over to him, helping him up. 

            "Heh, this is kind of funny." Doumyouji smiled at her. "Usually this is what I do." Tsukushi giggled a little, which sounded sort of weird because it was his voice giggling.

            "Well I am you." Tsukushi told him. "The same you that helps me when I need it most."

            "And I'm you. The same you that brings me a happiness that no one else can." Doumyouji confessed. Tsukushi breath caught and she stared at him. 

            "D-Doumyouji…" Tsukushi stammered a little. Doumyouji put a finger to Tsukushi's mouth.

            "Shhhh…" Doumyouji tilted his head up and leaned towards Tsukushi. Their lips met. 

            "Don't think this is going to get me to do _that_!" Tsukushi told him. Doumyouji blinked, he was looking down at Tsukushi. Which could only mean one thing…

            "I'M ME!" Doumyouji began to dance around in a strange happiness. He was wearing pants! Doumyouji was bouncing around everywhere.

            "Oh my god! I'm me too!" Tsukushi was suddenly caught up in the happy dance, being whirled around. They finally stopped when they were both too dizzy. They both fell over on the grass, laughing slightly. Their eyes met.

            "I love you." Doumyouji told her, pulling her right to him. Tsukushi didn't bother pushing away. 

            "Well, damn, I'm not going to fight it anymore. I love you too." Tsukushi confessed. Doumyouji kissed her again. "At least we didn't have to do…you know…"

            "Dammit." Doumyouji muttered. Tsukushi looked at him curiously.

            "What?" Tsukushi asked blinking her eyes.

            "Nothing." Doumyouji quickly covered up. 

            "I didn't expect it to actually work!" Soujirou told Akira as the two passed, not aware of Tsukushi and Doumyouji lying together in the grass. Soujirou was holding a book in one hand. Love Spells For All Occasions. The happy couple's eyebrows twitched simultaneously. 

            "Let's get him!" Tsukushi and Doumyouji both jumped up and ran after the young man, who was frantically trying to keep out of their reach.

            "Ah, I'm sorry! I didn't know!"

            "You're going to be sorry!"

            "I'm going to kill you!" 

            "Well at least I know that I'm the only sane one." Akira crossed his arms. He watched the three people run in their circles. At least he was the only sane one.

            "It was Akira's idea!" Soujirou's last yell made the furious couple turn on the longhaired boy.

            "GAHHHHHH!" 

            "Though it'd be funny did you?"

            "I'm going to kill both of you!"

__________

            The end. Hope you liked it folks! That's all for now. Remember that some of this was making fun of some people and I'm not being mean. It's just some thoughts I've had. Toodles! 


End file.
